Sunday, June 5, 2011

Who does that?

Who falls in a manhole? Who does that?

Well, to answer that question...I must first paint you a picture.

Imagine, you are back at Camp Clear Fork. Gorgeous weather, a few
mosquitos, and an ice cold beer in your hand (your first of the
After having a long trip from Texas, you (and by YOU I mean ME...but
follow me on this...) are ready for a relaxing evening with your good
buddies from DORBA.

You sit and chat with your friends for a good while, until you realize
the evil air sharks (AKA mosquitos) are having their way with your
Taking a cue from your incredibly smart, and tall, spouse, you walk
over to an area away from the rest of the folks enjoying their beers
and other sundry camping accoutrements. Your spouse steps off a
manhole cover (why was he on it? Well, it is a slightly raised
platform out of the grass and rocks...and just seems to be a smart
place to stand..right?) and hands you the bug spray.  Without fearing
the impending danger, you step on the manhole cover and proceed to
spray your arms and legs with the anti-air shark concoction.  (side
note: for all of the 5+ years you have been coming to this amazing
camp, you have danced...nay...jumped on this man hole cover with no

Your left leg needs additional coverage, though! So you gently lift it
to get a better angle. (yoga balance! yeah!) At that moment, the man
hole cover shifts slightly and then sharply flips to allow your entire
right leg to fall straight into the metal tube. Your left leg hits the
other side, and (thanks be to grilled cheese sandwiches!) your ample
booty catches the ground and edge of the manhole to prevent you from
completely ruining any hope for female happiness again. (Ahem, it was
very close)

So, dazed and confused...all you hear from your tall, intelligent
spouse is "What are you doing in there? Get out!" and you gather all
your Jack Bauer senses and pull a seriously awesome 24-inspired move
to roll out of the now big infested hole of darkness you are half
enveloped in.

First injury of Clear Fork = Me...standing still. Yep. I am made of
awesome.  Injury recap: really attractive gash and scrape on the shin
of my left leg (that's gonna leave a mark! you can see it on
Facebook...Mike posted it) and a really, really sexy technicolor
bruise on the outside knee of my right leg, a bruise the size (and
shape?) of Texas on my innermost right thigh ( was close) and
a sore butt. No bruise on that yet. That I can see.

So, next time someone asks you "Who falls in a manhole?", aside from
your first-gut-dirty-mind know the answer.

The next installment of "Who does that?" will be hosted by yours
truly, as I recap last night's pasta making adventure and I learn that
mini-shell pasta can in fact become a scalding version of a suction
cup on your finger!



Azura said...

I did the EXACT SAME THING in Mexico two years ago. My left leg fell through a completely innocent-looking manhole. The cover flipped when I stepped on it, but luckily there was some brown, squishy something-or-other that I stepped on and prevented damage to the lady bits. I don't want to know what was down there...we were in Mexico, after all.

We are made of awesome. No one can fall as gracelessly as we. ;)

Beckbee said...

I can't believe you did it too. I knew we were kindred spirits. ;)

I wouldn't want to know what was down in that manhole in Mexico, either!!