About Valentine's Day...

My fiancee and I have pretty much decided that celebrating Valentine's Day in a big, expensive, flashy way just isn't us. We would rather spend every day showing each other how much we love each other and randomly surprising the other with special things. Not just one commericialized holiday from hell. (btw, in that article...I totally had a similar experience in a previous relationship as Galen under "make sure you are on the same page". Oooh I was mad. I think I will have to post that story later. Hmmm...)

However, with all the pink and red and doilies and lace and chocolate and flowers and stuff...I figured I might as well share a few of my favorite ideas if you absolutely HAVE to do something for your SO (significant other). Or...if you would like to do something for your friends or family (my Bacchus Babes usually do some kind of something to celebrate on that day...this year, we are riding bicycles - dudes included - to a biker bar/restaurant in Grapevine to graze on a buffet!), you may also incorporate some of these ideas into your grand schemes:

1. Customized Chocolate Bars: Link/idea Stolen from a great budget friendly V-day blog entry on Wise Bread - . Seriously...these look awesome. Price tag is a bit high for a bar, but I mean...go crazy, right?
2. This may seem lame, but stay home and COOK. If you like to cook, that is. We will probably make a fancier than usual meal and might even include BRUSSEL SPROUTS (since I recently found out I lurve them). My fiancee and I love to cook, so this is a great way for us to incorporate several passions at once. A cookbook to consider, and one that I love... The New Intercourses, An Aphrodesiac Cookbook. Sounds kind oogie right? Don't worry, aside from the sort of brazen photography (but tasteful!), the recipes are incredible. I love the stories too. Find a friend who has it and borry it.
3. Wash their car. Ok, this sounds even more lame...but dude, my car could use it. (Not hinting or anything sweetie!) Just sayin' A little love for your loved one's ride could go a long way....
4. Send them a letter or card to work. I have done this before, and got a very positive response. Not flowers! A card or a letter. Something heartfelt and handwritten, perhaps. Catches them off guard when they are knee-deep in crocodiles, fighting the good fight..then they see a note that totally elevates them into bliss. I dig this kind of stuff...bet your SO would too. ;)
5. Go do something active! Not just sex, yo! (Although, that could be a good warmup?) I am thinking a hike, bike ride, perhaps a friendly game of frisbee? Maybe go play laser tag or paintball. Get creative and let loose a bit. Endorphins are awesome!
6. Have a marathon day of watching your favorite movies or tv shows? All day Star Wars for your uber geeky boyfriend? All day Sex and the City for your faboo girlfriend? Maybe an afternoon of watching TNT re-runs or USA...or other shows that are your guilty pleasure? (Burn Notice or NCIS, anyone?) Indulging in a TV vice is not a bad thing on occasion, especially if you both enjoy it.
7. Don't buy flowers! Plant a tree or an herb garden! Now, I am no gardener...BUT...I think it would rock if on that day, you could dedicate some time to planting something that will bring you joy for months or years to come. I would like to figure out where to plant some basil...cause, I really like basil. Hmm...another research project!
8. De-clutterize your home. Romantic? Maybe? I always like it when we get rid of stuff. It is cathartic...and makes room for our Chi...or something. Anyways, V-day is on a Sunday, so why not take advantage of the time together and get to work on making your domicile more inviting?
9. Plug in an old radio, find an AM station that sounds good and kick back and chat. What? Talk to each other? Listen to music on AM? What is wrong with me? Nothing, well...not anything criminal. Mike and I used to do this on Sundays...we haven't done it in a while, tho...maybe we need to try it out again. Find a station that plays old Billie Holiday or Nat King Cole. MMMM
10. Volunteer - maybe donate some time helping out at a local pet shelter, soup kitchen or retirement center. You never know, you might be inspired to make it a regular deal. I personally need to find something that I can dedicate some time to. Working with Habitat for Humanity was a great experience, I would like to do something like that again.

I know, many of you are thinking "Dude, Becky is boring and old", but you know what...bite me. :) I am a big fan of living every day where your SO doesn't have to wait around to find out how much you care. Maximize the moments you have together. Unplug from your computer, smartphone and/or tv (unless you do #6, then feel free to stay tuned in) and just kinda get back to what makes you like each other. Not a faux interpretation of what you think you SHOULD do. Celebrate who you are, and revel in it. Just my $0.02. Discuss, enjoy!

Hugs, kisses and all that jazz...

Beckbee

just me, rambling...

I have had some thoughts bubbling around in my head about the whole wedding/marriage deal. So, I thought I would share them.

· It is a very interesting process. As I move through the planning of a wedding, I realize that when we shift the focus from what everyone else wants or expects to what we want to express about ourselves and our relationship, the stress starts to melt away. Honestly, I was getting a wee bit overwhelmed with some of the ideas and stuff that I came up with in this vision of what I THOUGHT I had to do for it to be a real wedding. Its kinda wild.
· Have you SEEN some of the cheesy crap they try to sell as wedding favors? Oh man, I mean…really. There is a some cheap, useless stuff out there. It is just a way to spend money on stuff no one wants or needs. And honestly, some of these wedding cakes and decorations are just…well…not my style. It is CRAZY. But, everyone chooses to express themselves in their own way….that is what makes life fun!
· I think anyone who wants to share their lives together as a married couple should be able to. They should be able to enjoy the legal protections, burdens and joy of anyone else regardless of what any particular religion says. I believe this, because once the government gets involved in “legalizing” a religious institution (such as marriage), it becomes a state affair…and frankly a constitutional right to all those who reside in the country that provides that public endorsement. If you want marriage to be a religious ceremony for only certain people, then don’t expect government recognition of it. Denying someone access to the person they love, whether in a symbolic way or a legally binding way (i.e. not being able to see or help manage the care of your partner in a hospital for instance) is wrong. Just my $0.02.
· Sometimes the most perfect ideas come out of stepping back and saying “what do we really want and what fits it best”. I may have had an idea of something, but it may not TRULY be congruent with who I am and who my future husband is. Finding a solution, however “out there”, is often the work of “why don’t we just do this?”. I have a great feeling it will work out beautifully.
· People have expectations and they have emotions. It is a human thing. Someone is gonna be hurt that they weren’t asked to do something, someone is going to be mad that they didn’t get invited, someone is going to be overjoyed to be included. I can’t change, expect or solve any of these things for everyone. The best I can do is be honest about what we are doing and why we are doing it this way. Those that love and know us will understand, and those that don’t will chalk it up to us being eccentric and slightly off balance. I am OK with that.
· At the end of the day, I know I am incredibly lucky to have found a partner who respects and loves me for who I am. We want to be together when the time to jump in a foxhole comes up. We want to share the fun and laughter of time with friends and family. We want to share adventures together and support and challenge each other in our life’s journey. I get to be married to that person, and that is all that matters.
· We feel incredibly lucky to have the friends and family that we have. Each person contributes to our lives in a rich and fascinating way. Thank you for being a part of our lives.

With all that being said, no we don’t have an official date or location set…but we’re getting closer. We are still planning on doing a destination wedding and having a reception in Dallas when we get back. (think big barbeque and laid back atmosphere!)