Friday, January 15, 2010

just me, rambling...

I have had some thoughts bubbling around in my head about the whole wedding/marriage deal. So, I thought I would share them.

· It is a very interesting process. As I move through the planning of a wedding, I realize that when we shift the focus from what everyone else wants or expects to what we want to express about ourselves and our relationship, the stress starts to melt away. Honestly, I was getting a wee bit overwhelmed with some of the ideas and stuff that I came up with in this vision of what I THOUGHT I had to do for it to be a real wedding. Its kinda wild.
· Have you SEEN some of the cheesy crap they try to sell as wedding favors? Oh man, I mean…really. There is a some cheap, useless stuff out there. It is just a way to spend money on stuff no one wants or needs. And honestly, some of these wedding cakes and decorations are just…well…not my style. It is CRAZY. But, everyone chooses to express themselves in their own way….that is what makes life fun!
· I think anyone who wants to share their lives together as a married couple should be able to. They should be able to enjoy the legal protections, burdens and joy of anyone else regardless of what any particular religion says. I believe this, because once the government gets involved in “legalizing” a religious institution (such as marriage), it becomes a state affair…and frankly a constitutional right to all those who reside in the country that provides that public endorsement. If you want marriage to be a religious ceremony for only certain people, then don’t expect government recognition of it. Denying someone access to the person they love, whether in a symbolic way or a legally binding way (i.e. not being able to see or help manage the care of your partner in a hospital for instance) is wrong. Just my $0.02.
· Sometimes the most perfect ideas come out of stepping back and saying “what do we really want and what fits it best”. I may have had an idea of something, but it may not TRULY be congruent with who I am and who my future husband is. Finding a solution, however “out there”, is often the work of “why don’t we just do this?”. I have a great feeling it will work out beautifully.
· People have expectations and they have emotions. It is a human thing. Someone is gonna be hurt that they weren’t asked to do something, someone is going to be mad that they didn’t get invited, someone is going to be overjoyed to be included. I can’t change, expect or solve any of these things for everyone. The best I can do is be honest about what we are doing and why we are doing it this way. Those that love and know us will understand, and those that don’t will chalk it up to us being eccentric and slightly off balance. I am OK with that.
· At the end of the day, I know I am incredibly lucky to have found a partner who respects and loves me for who I am. We want to be together when the time to jump in a foxhole comes up. We want to share the fun and laughter of time with friends and family. We want to share adventures together and support and challenge each other in our life’s journey. I get to be married to that person, and that is all that matters.
· We feel incredibly lucky to have the friends and family that we have. Each person contributes to our lives in a rich and fascinating way. Thank you for being a part of our lives.

With all that being said, no we don’t have an official date or location set…but we’re getting closer. We are still planning on doing a destination wedding and having a reception in Dallas when we get back. (think big barbeque and laid back atmosphere!)


SandiC said...

Beck -- the most important thing is that it is your wedding and you should do what you want! If you and Mike are happy with the result, that is all that matters! The other folks will get over it (and if they don't - well too bad). I wish you both all the best!

Misty said...

I'm so glad to hear you feel that way. When people try to please others, it makes it much more difficult and NO ONE ends up pleased! Go for what you want - you're a big girl and can handle it!! Congratulations! :)

Jason Harx said...

"Someone is gonna be hurt"

I'm glad you realize this already, it will save you quite a bit of wasted planning.

My $.02 - when in doubt, always fall back on what you and Mike prefer.

Beckbee said...

Thanks for the comments SandiC, Misty and FBS. :)

I have a feeling Mike and I will make it a special event, and make it very "us".